I could always laugh at the thing about a bagel. Or perhaps it is the carbs or the hole in the middle that is reminding me that humor is always in the right place at the right time.
I have over the years collected a combination of puns and baked jokes. Such a brilliant series never leaves one without smiling–or even a groan.
My preferences go beyond sesame-crowned classics to simple and straightforward one-liners. Both of them guarantee a taste of humor with a twist and an aspect that will have everyone laughing.
These jokes make me feel like having more whether I am sharing them with my friends on a schmear or writing down my new ideas. The kind of humor you will always remember is the warm, familiar and the right one at the right time.
Bagel Puns Jokes are the perfect recipe for a smile—warm, lighthearted wordplay baked with humor, topped with a schmear of wit, and guaranteed to make you crave laughter.
Whether you love sesame, plain, or everything in between, these hole-some puns are ready to toast your day with a whole lot of laughs.
Why don’t bagels tell secrets? Because they always spill the holes!
I loaf you more than a bagel loves cream cheese.
What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You’re hot and I’m ready to roll.”
Sesame bagels always rise to the occasion—they’re seed-ious about it.
Plain bagels are never boring… they’re just hole-hearted.
What’s a bagel’s favorite workout? The gluten stretch.
Everything bagels really do have it all together.
The bagel proposed to the schmear because they’re a perfect spread.
Why did the bagel blush? It saw the toaster’s buns!
Bagels at parties are always the life of the loaf.
What do bagels say in the morning? “Rise and shine!”
A bagel’s favorite movie? Dough Hard.
What’s a bagel’s dream vacation? The Carb-ibbean.
Bagels never argue… they just roll with it.
What’s a bagel’s favorite instrument? The roll-ing pinano.
I’m not lox-ing around, these puns are everything you knead.
Bagels don’t ghost—they always call back dough.
Did you hear about the bagel comedian? He slays with hole-some humor.
Bagels don’t stress—they always take it grain by grain.
What do you call a bagel that sings? Bread Sheeran.
Bagels never get lost; they always know the round-about way.
Why did the bagel join the band? To get a roll in the music.
Bagels are the best friends—you can always count on their crust.
A bagel’s favorite dance? The twist.
Don’t bagel about it—it’s all in good bun.
Why are bagels so positive? They always look on the yeast side.
Bagels don’t fight—they just spread kindness.
What’s a bagel’s superpower? In-dough-structibility.
Bagels make the best comedians—they’re crustworthy with timing.
Bagels don’t brag—they’re just hole-some by nature.
Bagel and seagull jokes are a quirky mix of food humor and bird wordplay—perfectly baked laughs that bring a little seaside flavor to your carb cravings.
Why did the seagull steal a bagel? Because it kneaded a snack.
What do you call a seagull eating a bagel? A sea-gel.
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bagel shop? They’d be called bagels.
How do seagulls like their bagels? With extra lox.
Why did the bagel run from the seagull? It didn’t want to be toast.
What’s a seagull’s favorite bagel? Everything… they’re not picky.
Why did the seagull sit on the sesame bagel? It thought it was a nest.
What did the bagel say to the seagull? “Quit winging it—you’ll never get my schmear.”
Why do seagulls love bagels? They’re always up for a hole snack.
How do seagulls order bagels? “On the fly.”
What do you call a seagull who works in a bakery? A roll model.
Why don’t seagulls eat plain bagels? They like theirs with a little coast-ing.
What happened when the seagull grabbed the bagel? It was a real snatch-and-schmear.
Why are bagels afraid of the beach? Too many seagull attacks.
What do you get when a seagull drops a bagel in the ocean? A salty roll.
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